Keep Coming Back

I've come back to my blog page repeatedly today, only to shake my head and venture to another site. Why? Because I'm overwhelmed with a few things, and I'm honestly not quite sure who reads my blog, and if I expressed how I really feel on a few things, I'm not sure if I would make a situation better, make it worse, or make it worse then better. Whew!

David and I are working through some major changes for our family and life, as you've all read for weeks and weeks now. I'm sure you're sick of me mentioning that and not sharing what it is! I know, and I'm sorry. However, there are just some things that can't be shared...yet. God is doing HUGE things in our lives, things that are going to take us away from the comfortable and normal. We've seen open windows and open doors, walked through many of them, are preparing to walk through so many more I can't even begin to describe my emotions, and we've hit a major roadblock.

This roadblock has upset me for many reasons. When God is just laying things before you and you approach the person/people you think will be the most supportive or willing to do anything in support and you get a "no," it makes you sit back and reflect a minute. (And if you're this person reading this, I'm not sure how you're feeling having seen those words.) On one hand, I can see why it was a no; however, in our quest to be obedient, what we asked of these people was a sacrifice on their part and not a decision we came to lightly. I guess that makes it hurt worse, then, because it was the most humbling thing we've ever asked. And truthfully, that was the 2nd time we've received a no (3 years apart and in different situations).

I'm having to go with the promise that God has a better plan then. I don't know if His plan is what we think it might be or if it's something even better. I've prayed some crazy prayers since yesterday morning!

On a lighter note, we attended a welcome home bbq/football-watchin' party yesterday for a friend of ours who just returned from 13 months in Afghanistan. It was great to get out of the house and be with great friends, food, and fellowship (I love alliteration!). Hayden really showed himself (in a good way), which prompted someone to say, "He really is like what you say on Facebook!" Why, yes, ma'am, he is!

Answer #1

Tonight we'll have answer #1 to our biggest issue. I'm honestly not sure which way this answer might go; I could see it leaning either way. Maybe once we have this answer, I can share what the next step for our family is. We've been waiting on this answer for at least 3 weeks, so we'll see what happens next!

You Can Have Me

David and I will never live the "American Dream." We're completely fine with that. Wait a minute, I'm sure everyone reading this blog is like, "What?! You have a home, you have a husband and son (future linbacker!), you have a JOB, you have the dog," etc. But we're called to more. And hopefully we're getting a little closer to revealing what that more is for our family.

We know most people, especially family, are not going to understand when we tell them. Oh well. We can either STEP FORTH (hence the title of this blog) or we can be disobedient. I'm not so keen on the latter!

I was sent this video today. This is how we feel as a family: He can have us. It's going to mean leaving a lot. It's going to mean upheavel and change. It's going to mean a huge step of faith. But...He can have us, all of us. (Go to the link below and watch this video. Seriously. Do yourself a favor.)

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdgg7XmTWls&feature=related

Bonnie

Hayden has graduated from "Finding Nemo" to "Toy Story 3," a change that doesn't bother this momma!

My entire reason for this quick post is this: if/when we have a little girl, I sincerely hope she looks just like Bonnie from this movie! I'm not even kidding.

Spinning

Having a long weekend with my boys has been wonderful, yet having so much time to think now that the house is clean, chores are caught up, and everything is ready for the week is not good for me. My head is spinning with all the possibilities of the next year to two. Shoot, I'm stressing about the next 6 months!

We are waiting on some answers that will help steer our next few months-year. I know it will all fall into place and God knows the direction we need to go, but there are going to be big changes. For those of you that know me, change is not something that comes easily to me. Once I adapt I'm fine, but until then, it's very difficult. I have quite a few improvements to make to myself, my surroundings, and my personal life as we prepare for the months ahead.

I worry about Hayden and how he'll adjust, but I've been closely watching him the past month or so. He goes with the flow. He's so smart. He has such a tender heart. He's hysterical. As long as we do everything as a family (and we are), he'll be fine. And he's going to probably be my constant companion as we meet new people and places.

I can't wait to divulge where our lives are taking us. While we have a general idea, I'm only positive about today at this point! Well, that and the fact that I'm under contract until May. Please be in prayer for us as we take giant leaps of faith. I'll admit-I'm worried. Because we're leaving what's comfortable and familiar. But it's all for the best. Here's to a future of His leading!