Misplaced

Today I am simply feeling misplaced.

I am not a military wife.

I am not a size 4, or even 10.

I am not pregnant with baby #2, nor am I still only a wife (meaning I could come and go as so desired, at least easier, before I became a mommy).

I am not certain about a couple things (decisions, not relationship worries).

I am not as involved as I want to be, yet in one sense I don't want to be involved more at all.

I know this doesn't seem like much to many, or all, of you, but there are so many thoughts jumbled in my head I fail to find the words to express them. And some issues I don't have the liberty to discuss yet. I once missed college terribly...that feeling passed. Right now I greatly miss friends and our former Sunday School class 6 hours away. Is it just me or does the Coast feel almost like a retirement community in a sense, not family-friendly? Told you I couldn't put my feelings into words. I am just out of place right now.

Christmas Snapshots

Merry Christmas!

Merry 1st Christmas, Hayden!

You didn't scream when we saw Santa, you woke up in the best mood Christmas morning, you really seem to enjoy your gifts, and you listened patiently as Mommy explained why we truly celebrate Christmas!

We have a busy day ahead, son, so just get ready to be photographed, videotaped, held, passed, bounced, tickled, kissed, cooed at, and played with. You're our busy little trooper!

We love you, Hayden! You're the best gift ever!
~Daddy and Mommy

1CE&8M

It's Hayden's 1st Christmas Eve, and at 5:09 tonight, he'll be 8 months old! Goodness!

We're also thisclose to crawling. He has all the power, he's just not sure how to harness it and make the legs and arms work together.

Hayden is an incessant jabberer/babbler, too! So we're working even now on words and vocabulary and pitch and different sounds. And he definitely talks with his eyes; poor thing, again just like his momma, he won't be able to hide his feelings or emotions from his face. No poker for us!

Tonight is the Christmas Eve service at church and then it's back to our house for pizza and dominoes. Tomorrow is Christmas morning spent just the 3 of us seeing what Santa left, then off to mom's for lunch and presents with the sister and brother-and-law, nephew, and grandparents (both sets), and finally more presents and family at our house tomorrow night with the Ainsworth crew. I'm tired already!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I Can't Touch?

Bless my baby boy's heart, he has his momma's sensitive nature (thus far). Hayden can't stand to be lying down anymore now that he knows what it's like to be vertical. He's not completely pulling himself up yet, so we caved and put him in this walker my grandmother gave us. I've read all this stuff that says walkers aren't good (for a billion and one reasons), but he loves it and has figured out how to navigate! I'm telling you, it keeps him happy, and therefore, we're happy! But I'm off on a tangent.

So he has the moving around the room thing down fairly well. Well, tonight he discoverd the tree and just how close he can get to it! He reached out to touch, and I told him no. It was more just to gauge his reaction. He pulled back and then tentatively tried it again, checking me out by cutting his eyes toward me. When I said no the second time, his lip bottom lip started quivering and he got this scared look in his eyes. Bless his heart, both daddy and I laughed, then I picked him up and consoled his little broken heart. Oh, how I wish I had filmed it! It was so precious.

These are some pictures our babysitter's mother took. They (Kara and Hayden) framed 2 8x10's for us for Christmas. I love my happy chunky monkey! I can't believe he'll be 8 months old next week--Christmas Eve. I am so ready and yet so not ready for Christmas at the same time because once it's here, it's done and Hayden's first Christmas has come and gone. Man, I'm so "glass-half-empty." Merry Christmas!

Tooth #3

Baby boy has tooth #3 breaking through on top. He bit down on my finger tonight, and boy, I felt it! We still haven't quite figured out crawling, but we'd rather stand up anyway!

Oh, by the way, does anyone have a good remedy for constipation? I'm having trouble getting through to the pediatrician (their line stays constantly busy and I have to call around my classes), and Hayden needs relief desperately. We started making some headway a few days ago, but now we're back to him barely getting anything out and his poor bottom is so tender and red. We've tried prune juice, Karo in the bottles like our ped. suggested, suppositories, and anything else we come across! Please help me help him!

On a side note: I'm so SICK of rain! And it's so hot and humid, not like Christmas at all. In fact, it's downright depressing! Today the fog never lifted and it rained during lunch, so the kids did not get to go outside at all. And they sure could have used the break from the school building!

Oh, and did you know it's the teacher's fault when a student has missed too many days and she can't be exempt? Yep, I caused this young lady not to turn in excuses and thus, she has to take my exam (note the sarcasm). Hate it for ya. Deal with it. And I have another young man who does nothing in my class because apparently I'm not funny like his English teacher last year so I don't hold his attention. And at some point the school "messed" him over (he had an alternate word) so he basically refuses to do anything. See you in 8th grade again next year, kiddo.

So this whole post was really just to let you know Hayden has his third tooth coming in--front and center. Well, maybe just a little to the right, but you get the idea! Chomp, chomp!

Going to make our first visit to Santa this weekend! Hoping for a happy visit!

Could It Be?

Could it be that Hayden has FINALLY figured out that sleeping through the night is a good thing? He was asleep by 7:30 last night, and it is currently 6:45 AM. Hmmmm. So why am I not asleep? Because I was worried something was wrong and because I am too conditioned to be up in the 5 o'clock hour for work! Rain is coming down outside, so maybe the weather is playing a part. Or maybe it's because David finally helped me let him fuss himself back to sleep for a few nights. I tell ya---people offer all these tips and suggestions, which some work and others don't, and I kept reading about letting him cry himself back to sleep. But it's so hard to do! Listening to your child cry rips at a mother's heart. David usually just slept through it. But at 7 months, we definitely knew it wasn't hunger (he hasn't woken up to eat in months), we know his hurting cries, and we know his "I just want attention!" cries. So my husband helped me leave him alone. And maybe it worked. We'll know so much more for baby #2, and I am so thankful Hayden is such a happy, joyful, healthy baby. Even with the mistakes I have made, he has been resilient and adapted and still loved me through it all! Might I finally know what it's like to sleep 8 hours again?

Christmas Card

So tonight we tried to get family pictures taken for our first family of 3 Christmas card. Easier said than done! I hate the way I look in pictures so to find one with all of us having decent expressions and Hayden at least looking was a challenge. But here are the 2 (if I remember correctly!) we used to create our card:

Shopping Cart

Today we reached another milestone: Hayden riding in the shopping cart! Since we had to change to a convertible carseat before Hayden was sitting unassisted for any period of time, I could never go shopping with him by myself. Someone had to accompany me to push him in the stroller while I pushed the cart or vice versa. However, today, no one could go with me to Target, so I thought, "Shoot! We have to try it at some point and see where we stand!" So off we went. I strapped him in well, shoved my jacket next to him for extra cushion (he was leaning because he was pretty tired), and around the store we went. Hayden got fussy only when we stopped so I could look at something! I know he loves being up and able to see everyone and everything. I also know we're not ready for an hour-long shopping trip like this just yet, but I would definitely say today was a success! What a relief!