Sufficient

I'm not. We're not. Never will be. And it's killing me. Please understand, I don't want to be so sufficient ever that I don't need my Father. But I want to be sufficient on this planet in knowing that THROUGH Him we can provide for our family and ourselves. That probably doesn't make any sense, and I don't know how to write it any clearer. I'm tired of jumping when the phone rings, not knowing what to expect on the other end. I'm tired of not knowing how this or that will get taken care of. I'm tired of looking to tomorrow because I don't feel I can enjoy today. Will I ever feel I'm semi-sufficient?