Debbie Downer

If you watch Saturday Night Live, you likely know exactly who Debbie Downer is. And that is exactly how I feel this evening. We are on the Coast visiting family and house-hunting, and let me tell you, it's hard! David is at an auction at First Baptist Biloxi; there are all sorts of items donated for this shindig: furniture, cruises, teeth whitening appointments, etc. Good stuff. I was going to go, but after a day of helping dad a bit in the yard (getting pretty dang sweaty) and then looking at homes and talking through this and that, I felt I needed some time alone. My sister and nephew are seeing her mother-in-law in Hurley, and my parents are at a movie night at their church. Big mistake for me to hole myself up. If you know me at all, when I'm idle I think. Too much. Too hard. Too long. Ask my husband. It's obsessive for me. And tonight it's even more so. For those of you who don't know much about the Coast, let me simply say that thanks to a fierocious beast named Katrina, housing and insurance costs have skyrocketed. For example, a house roughly the same size as our apartment in Southaven is nearly double on the Gulf Coast. Then you have to take into account insurance. Let's not even go there! While it is a buyer's market right now, David and I are considering renting for a couple months. We have a variety of personal reasons for that, and we want to make sure teaching is my niche before we make such a huge commitment. It's not so much that we can't afford the rent, but I'm very concerned about a length of time between paychecks. See, in order to be at new teacher orientation and prep for the school year, I need to get down here mid-late July. Okay, well, my next paycheck wouldn't come until the end of August as teachers only get paid once a month. Hmmm. Huge quandry. We're thinking through a few ways to resolve that, but we don't have a clear answer yet. Maybe I'm naive, but part of me just felt that we'd come this weekend and discover a gem of a house tucked away somewhere that God set aside just for us, a home calling our name. Now I'm not saying that couldn't happen, but it hasn't...yet. We've looked at some great houses, but in my finite mind, I just don't deem it feasible to do at this moment (now with insane deposits for everything-housing, cable, power). My parents are helping us immensely, and we might bunk with them for a month or two. But we can rest assured these houses we're looking at now will not be available then. So do we hold out? Keep searching? I don't know. Where will David find work? I know God handed me this job, but...no, there should be no buts! He has a plan. Okay, Jamie, pick your chin up, get out of this funk, and realize you're not doing this alone. These details will all work out. Right? They will. Will they really? (This inner battle is quite normal for me! And boy does it get old fast! But then I wonder, is this all just a lack of faith? That's an entirely different blog, I believe!)