Shannon Falls, August 2012

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

No Word

Absolutely no word (well, except for one saying the position was filled) from ANY of the churches I sent my resume to. While that's slightly discouraging, David and I have been exploring other options and discussing where we want our lives to go, where we feel led.

I have to tell you, I hate this. All of it. This waiting and wondering. This anticipation and discouragement. This YES! then No.

Do you remember thinking as a kid in school that when you were an adult everything would make sense? Everything would be easier? And every adult laughed in your face when you talked about just wanting to be older and have a job, etc., etc., etc.? Well, I thought it. And said it. And most days I'd give anything to be one of my students where my biggest worry is middle school drama. Don't get me wrong...some of my kids come from some crazy households, and their everyday lives are insanely worse than my worst day. I get that.

I don't want this to sound like I hate my life. That's not it. I'm just tired of feeling like we're called to more, yet this and that are holding us back. It's frustrating to feel called to contact churches, then not hear a word. I've done this before, so I do have an idea how it works. But it's still difficult when you know in just a few short months you have to sign a contract for next year.

Things have simply been worse for me because between me being sick, then David, and now Hayden, I've had WAY too much time to think. If you know me at all, this is a b.a.d thing! I start stressing and worrying and bugging the crud out of David. Poor man.

So that's just where I am today. Hayden is fantastic. Complete sentences and outrageous stories. He's so smart!! He loves to help clean, and like me, he can't stand for doors and drawers to be left open. He may look like his daddy, but he's definitely me made over!! David has been wonderful with me...patient, understanding, and wanting the absolute b.e.s.t for our family. I'm so immensely blessed to have a man know me and love me the way he does!


Sarah Broadus said...

at our revival this week we are learning about how sometimes God's silence can seem like he isn't listening but he uses that to teach us to depend on him more. I know how discouraging it can be-esp. when you feel like you are suppose to do this. But maybe he is doing just what i said above....wanting you to rely on him more during this process.

Katie A. said...

Sometimes God calls us to just take a step of faith. As absolutely scary as it is/can be, maybe if you feel that God is truly calling you back into Children's Ministry, He is waiting for you to show that you trust Him totally by not signing your teaching contract for next year. I'm not saying that IS what He is doing, but just something to think about. I know I've been there before, where He was just waiting for me to show me how much I truly trusted Him before He provided me with the means to take the next step. As I mentioned the other day, I'm praying for you and praying that God will illuminate the path He wants you to walk down and provide you with some answers.