Guilty

I'll never understand why some people can bear children when others whose hearts long and bodies ache to have children, can not. But that's an entirely other discussion. My reason for this post is quick and simple: sometimes I feel guilty. I feel guilty that David and I can have children easily. And we have a healthy son, a happy boy. But we have scores of friends who have had years of trouble or who have yet to get pregnant. I know there are tons of answers for not feeling guilty and all that, but regardless, sometimes I still do. But again, I'm not here to argue that point.

A couple we know was finally able to get pregnant...with twin girls. Through a lot of heartache this past week, they lost both babies...at separate times. I've cried for them, held Hayden extra long, and had a stomach full of knots. David went yesterday to spend time with the husband while they are still at the hospital in P'cola. (I'm telling you...it's a VERY long story.) But what really made me pause last night is when David said he and the husband went in to see our friend and they began talking about what to wear home when they're released. They live here in Ocean Springs, she went into labor unexpectedly while visiting her at Eglin AFB, and through complications, lost both girls and nearly her own life. It's like her body rejected the babies. Ohhhh...it hurts to type that. So...the husband is talking about clothes and he says, "You can just wear what you wore here Monday." And she apparently looked at him and simply replied, "_____, those are maternity clothes." I wanted to cry all over again. What a thought I never considered.

How blessed I am.