Toddler Talk

I've learned a great deal as a first-time mommy to a now toddler. Here is a (definitely non-comprehensive) list of a few of my "finds":

*Note: these pertain to my child, but I'm sure you'll find truth in many of them for yourself!

#1 The more you clean, the bigger the mess your child will make...and usually in another room where you have no idea it's taking place.

#2 Your toddler will love any kind of water: the bathtub, the toilet, and especially the dog's water bowl.

#3 Getting ready to go anywhere will no longer be a simple process. For example, you, as the put-together mother that you are, may merely want to apply a little mascara before facing the world. However, what typically may have taken 5 minutes to apply pre-baby now takes 20, simply because you have to stop your toddler from unrolling all of the toilet paper, flushing the toilet, emptying the cabinets underneath the sinks, chasing the dog, hitting the dog, pulling all of your shoes out of your closet, opening your dresser drawers, playing in the dog's water bowl, crying for no apparent reason, throwing his cup and any toys he can get his hands on into the bathtub, and trying to eat the Swiffer. And that's while you ONLY want to apply mascara. We haven't even discussed showering, doing hair, applying the rest of your make-up, and getting dressed. Oh, yes, and you still have to dress your toddler who refuses to sit still for anything! Tired, yet?!

#4 Your toddler will help put items away; unfortunately, his idea of "helping" may be pulling the dirty clothes out of the hamper and placing them, oh so gently, in a bathroom drawer. He'll be so proud, all you can do is laugh and thank him!

#5 There will be days you desire to change your name. Hearing "momma" 21,754 times a day will be difficult at times, but one day you know you'll miss being called that precious title all day long. Remind yourself he'll never be this young again nor under your roof forever.

#6 You will find yourself listening and watching in amazement as your toddler has entire conversations with anything and everything. He will "read" the same page of his favorite book for 10 minutes, even it only contains 4 words!

#7 Your toddler will know sooner than you wish which items he had better grab and run; for example, the television remote!

#8 A mother's heart can't imagine loving any little person more than her child, but you will crave adult conversation at the end of a long day.

#9 Some days you can't win no matter you what you do: pick up, put down, pick up, put down, throw temper tantrum on the floor, pick up, put down, pick up, put down, throw juice cup at dog, scream, pick up, put down...continue as long as necessary until your toddler finally decides what he wants (and only that will last for a few precious seconds!).

#10 You will tell your child you love him all day every day even when he has pushed you to the extreme.

#11 You will dance and sing and look like the biggest idiot to get your child to stop crying or to get a giggle out of your little person.

#12 Even on your "I hate me" days, your child will love everything about you, even the mushy and gushy parts!