Tear...

I know this was inevitable at some point, but I was hoping to postpone it for as long as possible: the end of nursing. Hayden has decided he definitely prefers the bottle to me. Don't get me wrong--he likes what comes out but not the process of getting it out. Well, he usually takes 2 bottles during the day while I'm at school and I try to nurse every other time, but only in the middle of the night does he really take to me. So it looks like to the bottle we go. I'll continue to pump for as long as I can, but I can already tell that my production has slowed way down. As frustrating as the process of nursing can be sometimes, it is such a special bonding time. The positive I'm trying to focus on is that I was able to give him 4 solid+ months of me with very little supplementing. I gave Hayden the best start I could and I must refuse to feel shame or as a failure because we're moving into a new phase. We're responding to him and his needs and meeting them the best way possible. He loves his solid foods and soon we should be able to start juice, so it's not like he'll be getting non-stop formula all day long.

He's really noticed his feet and makes noise constantly. If this is an indication of him talking as a toddler, we're in trouble! Oh, and we've almost mastered rolling over!

Sleepy, sleepy

So Hayden is doing much better sleep-wise. We're still not going an entire night, but we've made great strides. Last night, for example, he was out about 8:15 and slept until 1 when he let me plug him, and then he slept until 3 before demanding a snack. Then it was lights out until 6:10 or so. I'm pretty pleased. We're getting closer and closer.

It's amazing how you learn to adapt when you have a baby. Maybe I'm just simply still running on adrenaline with the new school year, but while I'm tired, I'm not completely exhausted. It could also be that it's so great to be getting hours of sleep at a time instead of an hour; not as many as I'd like, but you understand. I mean, I wouldn't turn down an opportunity to be asleep by 8, but I can manage to stay up until between 9:30-10:00, get up and down during the night, and still rise for the day at 5 (if Hayden doesn't demand I'm up before then!). We still have our nights that aren't so great, but overall, we are so pleased with his progress. I know he can go a great length of time between meals---he went 7 last night, and even though he woke, he didn't eat. So there you have it: the way our nights are going. Not perfect, but super, fantastic, great, wonderful strides from even a week ago.

ps. Next Wednesday afternoon is his 4 month shots. I can't wait to know for sure how much he weighs and how long he is!

Oh, and if you saw my Facebook status from last night you know how my first hour home yesterday went: changed my work clothes, Hayden spit up all over me, the cat peed on our bedroom baseboard and in the hallway, I put Hayden in his swing to clean that up, he had a major blow-out that covered the swing, so my new t-shirt, his blanket that I had to pick him up with, his outfit, the swing cover, and a towel had to be washed, Hayden had to be bathed, and I needed a drink (just kidding) by the time we were done! That was all by 5:15 PM!!! Parenthood is GREAT!

Wake up!

Let's just say that the sleeping on the side is having very positive results. We're still waking somewhere between 12:30-2:30 for a feeding, but he's going right back down. The only down side is that he'll only go about 3-3 1/2 hours after that middle of the night feeding. Thus, he was awake this morning at 4:45--after I had plugged him at 3:30 to hold him off. Not sure how to get him to go a little longer. I might just have to wait on him to decide. But this is great progress! I'm beginning to think he's going to take after his cousin Gabe and not sleep through the night until month 8! Heavens no!!!

BACK to sleep?

Okay, so we may have finally solved the Hayden sleep crisis. Last night I fed him and rocked him then layed him down, just like his normal routine. He was immediately awake, as he is most nights, and then started his fussing. We've been letting him cry it out, trying to teach him to go to sleep on his own. So I waited my time, went in, soothed him, talked to him, sang, etc. This went on for an hour and a half. I was in the bedroom listening to Hayden and was about to go just feed him again and see if that helped when suddenly the baby monitor flashed red and I heard nothing. I didn't realize David had gone in to give me a break and turned the monitor off. I peeked in the nursery and found David rocking him. I left, unsure how Hayden would respond because he usually will only let me put him down. Finally, David came out of the nursery and said, "I think I've figured it out." I waited. "I don't think he likes sleeping on his back." All David did differently was put Hayden on his side, prop him with his pillow, and the kid was out. Huh.

I don't know if lying on his back upsets his acid reflux or the pressure hurts his gums or what, but it worked. He was out from right at 10 until 2:25, back asleep (really asleep) by 2:38, and slept until 5:50. AMAZING. I'm almost so anxious for bed tonight to see if this is the answer! If so, why, oh why, could we not have figured this out 3+ months ago? That's right because babies do not come with their own manual and every website, professional/specialist, baby book, etc., says to put babies on their backs. You know, the whole BACK to sleep campaign? Well, Hayden is our offspring and neither David nor I sleep on our backs. Guess the kiddo is the same way! I just really hope this is what has been keeping him from sleeping. Maybe, just maybe, we'll be on the way to a full night's sleep in the near future.

Tattle-tail, tattle-tail...

Or is it tattle-tale? Regardless, I think I'm about to have to be one. Unfortunately for all you inquiring minds, I really can't go into detail. I've tossed back and forth over whether to "report" what happened today, and I think I have to. I don't want to be labeled a tattler, and I want to remain anonymous, but I think it's a good bet that it could be deduced that I told. Oh well. I have to do what's right.

"I wish I could end my day with you!"

This is what one student told me recently. Just that simple remark made me feel good. No, English is not the most fun subject, but my students seem to enjoy coming to class. I'm trying to be stricter with discipline, and maybe the 54 minute period does make a big difference. I can relate to my students and I like forming relationships (you know, strictly teacher-student, nothing funny) with them. I'll never forget, though, one student telling me last year that I was the oldest young person he knew! Think about that. I use phrases like "peachy-keen" and others that suddenly escape me. Most have never heard this sort of "old-fashioned" language! Beats most of what I hear during the day.

Update on the Hayden sleep schedule: last night we went from 9ish to 2:30! That's a huge stretch for us! We tried the same little difference tonight that we used last night and we'll see the results in a few hours (hopefully). I plan to celebrate somehow the night he sleeps through! I honestly can't remember the last time I had a solid night's sleep; it has definitely been over 6 months. Probably closer to 8 or 9, come to think of it! I should capitalize on this time. Sweet dreams!

MAD

I'm just mad. And I'm even madder that I can't really explain too much about why I'm mad. I posted a status on Facebook that a parent took offense to. Well, they didn't take offense to my status but to a remark by someone else. So it sparked this big hooplah. Well, not too big, but I just deleted the comment to save it from growing any bigger. So I guess from now I'll just censor myself and the only child I'll ever refer to will be my son. Grow up, people. Yes, there's the Freedom of Privacy Act; no, I didn't mention any names; but yes, there's also a Freedom of Speech Act somewhere, too. Or wait---has that been taken away from us yet? Soon enough.