Shannon Falls, August 2012

Monday, April 20, 2009

From Strong to Still

Today, Hayden gave us a little scare. I realized about lunchtime that I hadn't felt my son move in a few hours. I was also having a few other pains that I hadn't experienced before. Both David and my mom suggested I call the dr. So there I was at 2 pm, sitting in the drs. office when I should have been teaching! Well, this was more important, but you know what I mean. They hooked me up to a heart monitor and for almost an hour we listened and watched. It took a good half hour before he really began any movement. His heartrate was fairly consistent in the 160s and would dip into the 150s. When Hayden began moving again, Dr. Sams was pleased and decided to wait until my appt. Thursday morning before we take any more steps. I honestly don't know at this point if I'll make it to Thursday, but that's not for me to decide. I have so many emotions right now. It was quite a mentally and emotionally draining afternoon. Guess I'll just relax this evening and go back to work tomorrow and continue waiting. How is it that even when I know God knows best and His timing is perfect I still doubt so much? With Hayden, decisions, finances, everything. I can never shut my mind off. I want to revel in this time but all I can dwell on are other issues. How do I honestly, truly, completely let it go? And if you're going to say, "Just do it. Just let it go," please don't. This is a battle I've fought my entire life.

5 comments:

Emily said...

I know exactly how you feel. God has been reminding me lately that for everything there is a season and to enjoy the season I am in right now. I will say a prayer for you and your family and health for you and Hayden.

Amy said...

Keeping y'all in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you good health, good sleep, and a sense of peace as you anticipate Hayden's arrival. (BTW, as I am typing this, Robbie is trying to take the mouse from me... :) Y'all will make the right decisions. You've got God on your side, and you've got a good doctor too! Thanks for keeping us posted on your progress. If there is anything we can do, please let us know...

Love and Best Wishes,
Amy

Chas Ray said...

You and everybody else..honey. Just try to realx as much as you can and know that I am praying for you, David and Hayden.

Anna said...

Hang in there! I know that was a scary experience for you. Abby gave me one of those and it terrified me. If worse comes to worse and Dr. Sams induces you, you'll at least get to meet Hayden sooner. That isn't a bad option. Let me know if I can help in any way!

Heather said...

I had a mild scare like that with Mattie Leigh...luckily, I was able to lay down and drink ice water and she started moving again quickly. I'm praying that things go smoothly from now through labor and bringing Hayden home...you've got enough going on and don't need anymore scares. I still have those struggles and wonder if I'm doing the right thing with still being in school instead of being home all the time with Mattie Leigh. I know that God planned this out but because it didn't fit MY plans, I continue to struggle with it. Keep me updated on how you and Hayden are.